Holding Back the Dark

or being held beyond it

Held

Darkness softly licks my calves
reaches up from the edge of the abyss
so tempting, that black numbness
nothingness
so easy, like a sigh before sleep

Drag me to the light!
quick, before I forget how it feels
before I can’t yell for help
Drag me to the light!

Let the sun wake these anemic bones
flood my eyes with memory
of all the goodness, dripping
sweet and slow
blood like honey
on broken lips
broken soul
made 
whole

Drag me to the light!

I forgot that Light
dragged himself to me
to Gethsemane, down beyond 
the forsaken place, the great dark ache
to rest his fingers on my face
to meet me with his sweet strong grace

Hold me in the light
let it be my dwelling place
all my days, all my days
let my lips be shaping praise
Hold me in the light

---

This poem is from two years ago, one of those poems that went from my journal into my Google Drive and disappeared from my mind. Some poetry feels too personal, too much of a revelation of my internal landscape, to share. Some poetry is simply written to be written. I thought that was the case with this poem, until I went through a phase that I was having difficulty describing and I remembered it. It was helpful for me to read again and so I changed my mind about it, perhaps it will be helpful for someone else to read. If it is, then I am glad!

Defiant Knowing

My body bumps against you as I retreat
into silence, words on the other side
of a murky cloud
Before I hand my mind over to 
all the lies that keep it caged
I am steadied by 
Defiant knowing
When my thoughts stand wide eyed
before the mess, the humanness
I   hear   a   whisper
Defiant knowing
When my calculations lead once again
to hopelessness,
I tilt my head
Defiant knowing
Woven through the neural pathways,
all the seas that have been parted
all the moments light shone 
in the darkness
Defiant knowing
The darkness cannot overcome it
Defiant knowing 

---

This one is from Tuesday writing group, Write The Good Write with David Joey and a bunch of awesome humans. I thought it paired well with the first poem so I added it in here.

May you be held this week, and fill to the brim with defiant knowing.

A sunset glimpse of the spire of the Reformed Church in Stäfa (the town I live in) framed by leaves. Light and Darkness are not only a theme in my writing but in my photo’s as well.